How to Get Out of Your Head and Back Into the Moment

“I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.”
— Jonathan Safran Foer

Some days, it feels like your brain just won’t shut up.

You think of things you said but shouldn’t have said. Or things you didn’t say and wish you had. You worry about things that haven’t happened. Criticize yourself for not doing more, being more, fixing more. You’re physically present, but mentally somewhere else entirely. And even when you try to relax, your mind keeps on spinning.

Does that sound familiar? It happens to me all the time.

I’ve been there more times than I want to admit, and over time, I’ve learned a few things that help me come back to myself. That’s what I want to share with you here.

This is a post about how to get out of your head and back into your life. Not in some grand, life-changing way, but in small, doable moments that return you to the present moment.

Why We Get Stuck in Our Heads

Getting stuck in your head happens to everyone. It feels automatic, doesn’t it? And that’s mostly true. It’s not weakness. It’s wiring.

Your brain’s job is to keep you safe. It scans for danger. It tries to solve problems before they happen. It’s an amazing thing, but sometimes it does its job a little too well. Instead of being proactive, in its attempts to protect us, our brain can make us feel paralyzed.

Add some stress, self-doubt, or sky-high expectations, and you’re in real trouble. Suddenly, your brain is replaying arguments that did or didn’t happen, predicting disasters that probably won’t ever happen, or mentally rehearsing every version of what you “should’ve” done.

Like Dan Harris writes in 10% Happier:

“The voice in your head is an asshole.”

And it’s not just you. I’ve lost entire afternoons to mental spirals I didn’t even realize I was in. I’d go over something I said, replay a conversation endlessly, or run through every worst-case scenario of something I hadn’t even done yet. Your brain is constantly working in the background, telling you stories while you’re trying to do life. Sometimes you’re consciously listening to them, sometimes they’re just an anxious feeling of worry and self-judgment in the background.

When this gets bad, it makes everything feel heavier than it is. For example, sometimes I’d sit right next to my wife or son, physically present, but mentally completely somewhere else. Completely consumed by the stories my brain was attacking me with. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about the present moment and the people in it; I just didn’t know how to pull myself back to it.

Like I mentioned above: it’s a mostly automatic process. But that doesn’t mean it has to stay like this.

Jennie Allen puts it this way in Get Out of Your Head:

“We don’t have to be stuck in our heads. We get to choose what we think about. And what we think about drives everything.”

The trouble is, most of us don’t realize how often we’ve drifted until we start noticing the price we’re paying. Until even joy feels like something we have to work for.

“Thoughts aren’t facts, and fear isn’t prophecy.”

The good news? Presence is a practice. And it’s one you can start today.

So let’s see how you can go about this.

Step One: Notice When You’re Not Present

“Help, I have done it again / I have been here many times before.”
– Sia (Breathe Me)

The first step isn’t to fix it. First, you’ve got to notice when it happens.

You can’t get out of your head if you don’t even realize you’re in there. So presence starts with that awareness. Here’s how you might know you’ve left the moment:

• You find yourself rehearsing or rehashing a conversation
• You’re stuck in worst-case thinking
• You’re critiquing yourself constantly
• You’re nodding at someone, without really hearing them
• You feel disconnected from your breath, your body, your space

Noticing these things, without any judgment, is the first reset. Just pay attention to what’s happening with the voice in your head. What’s it saying? Are you still with the situation you’re actually in, or have you drifted off somewhere else?

Step Two: Ask, What Made Me Go Inside My Head?

Once you catch yourself spiraling, try to pause and ask yourself: What happened? What just pulled me out of the moment?

Was it something someone said? Did something trigger a worry? Did something you noticed activate a story you started telling yourself?

Often, it’s something small. A shift in someone’s tone. A memory. A single thought can quickly escalate into anxiety or shame. Noticing when that moment happens gives you your power back.

“The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you have with yourself.”
— Mark Goulston

When you’re noticing a moment like that, you can ask yourself:

• What story am I telling right now?
• Is it true?
• Is it helpful?
• Is there another way to see this?

This isn’t about pretending everything’s okay. It’s about breaking the grip of automatic thought loops. Because thoughts aren’t facts. And fear isn’t prophecy.

Remember: your brain is a complicated machine, and sometimes it gets it wrong. And you are not your brain. You are not that voice in your head. You are the one noticing it when you pay attention. And you get to tell it to shut up, to refocus, or to read a different script.

Step Three: Get Back Into Your Body

When your mind is racing, your body can be your anchor.

You can’t always think your way into presence, but you can feel your way there. Breath, movement, and sensation will bring you back into the now.

“The win isn’t in never leaving the moment, but in returning to it.”

There’s nothing vague or new agey about it. There are some simple, practical things you can try to see which one works for you:

• Naming 5 things you can see, hear, or feel
• Taking one deep breath in—and a longer breath out
• Running your hands under cold water
• Walking without your phone for five minutes
• Stretching and feeling your muscles wake up

I know some of these sound too simple to work. But give them a shot. Even 30 seconds of grounding can interrupt the spiral and bring you back to where you are.

Step Four: Do Something, Even If It’s Small

An excuse often used is: I want to work on myself, but I’m not ready yet. But you don’t need to wait until you feel better to act. In fact, acting often helps you feel better.

As Gary John Bishop writes in Unfu*k Yourself:

“You have the life you’re willing to put up with.”

Initially, that may sound harsh. But it’s not about blame. Your stress or anxiety isn’t your fault, but it’s your responsibility to do what you can, when you can.

So let’s trust what the science says about it. Numerous trials have shown evidence that when it comes to anxiety and depression, action changes mood, not the other way around.

You don’t need the perfect mindset, just motion. Because movement interrupts the mind-loop.

Try one thing:

• Tidy up one surface
• Message a friend
• Make something with your hands
• Step outside
• Play music that reminds you of yourself

For me, it’s often doing some cleaning. Not because I love it, but because it gets me out of my head and into a rhythm. That’s what these small acts are: reminders that your world is bigger than your thoughts.

Step Five: Return, Again and Again

Being present isn’t a one-time achievement, or final destination. You’ll have to get there again and again, and that’s okay. That’s how it works for everyone.

Your goal isn’t staying grounded all day. It’s in noticing you left, and then coming back.

Return to your breath. Return to your senses. To the people around you.

“You are not your thoughts. You are the one observing them.”
— Nick Trenton

Keep that in mind: you are NOT your thoughts. And that space between you and your thoughts? That’s where your freedom lives.

You’re Not Broken, You’re Just Caught in the Loop

Getting stuck in your head doesn’t mean you’re failing at life. It happens to everyone. It just means you’re human. You care. You think deeply. You want to get it right.

But the more you pressure yourself to figure it all out up there, the further you drift from what’s right in front of you. And that hurts you, and the people around you.

Some of my best days started badly, with spirals I thought I’d never shake. But I managed to come back to myself. Not all at once, just in small ways. A deep breath. A quiet reset. A hand on my chest to remind myself: I’m here. If I can do it, anyone can.

This isn’t about mastering some Zen mindset. It’s about learning how to get out of your head and back into your life, even just for a moment. That’s a start.

So next time you feel the spiral coming, try this:
Pause.
Breathe.
Feel your feet on the ground.
And come back, even if just for a second.

That second is where your peace lives.

---

Related reading:

Why People-Pleasing Is Holding You Back as a Man
How to Build Emotional Strength and Stay True to Yourself
How to Listen Without Trying to Fix Everything
How Men Can Deal with Anger Without Shutting Down or Blowing Up

Elsewhere:

Explore scientifically proven mindfulness exercises on the Mayo Clinic website
Watch Kendra Shimell’s TEDx talk Get Out of Your Head
Read advice on Tiny Buddha on How to Get Out of Your Head and Stop Overthinking Everything
Watch a TEDx talk by Debbie Wright, Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Heart